"Leave Me Be!"

Son of Famous Villain Proclaims Innocence Yet Again

It's a sure bet that the quiet village of Bold Oaks, Virginia, has never hosted a press conference like this.  Just look at the participants.  One is possibly the best known superhero of two generations, while the other, well, to be honest, the other wants nothing more than to be unknown.

But it's not easy to escape the spotlight when your father was the demented Doctor Darius, a world infamous villain who practiced terror until his death in the 1980s.  No one stopped more of the doctor's insidious plans than the world renowned Celestion.  He visited Bold Oaks at the request of Ivan Boulder.

Mr. Boulder certainly doesn't look threatening.  A balding man in his mid-forties, he resembles nothing more dangerous than a grocery megastore manager, which is what he is.  He looks like the kind of fellow who could advise you on how to tell if a watermelon's ripe, and the only people he might terrorize would be lazy stock boys.

It's the bloodline that's a problem. It seems even bad guys get amorous, and Doctor Darius found succor in the arms of a comely Russian lass in the early 1960s. It was not a lasting union. Mother and child somehow set up home in the good old U.S. under an assumed name.

The ironic thing is that Ivan Boulder didn't learn about his true roots until he was targeted by a misguided group looking to avenge some of daddy Darius' misdeeds. That's when Celestion got involved, rescuing the 20 year old.  At that time, he was given the "Boulder" name and a new home in Bold Oaks.

So why come out of the shadows now?

"Because I've got nothing to hide," he explained.  "Ask Celestion. Over 20 years ago, the FBI investigated me for months and couldn't find any links between me and a father I never knew.  I've been in the grocery business ever since."

Standing alongside the grocery man was the hero man. Celestion was ready to lend credence to this story.

"Don't kid yourselves. Darius was one of the most diabolical men I've ever known. There were very few stones left unturned when it came to checking out Ivan.  He's got no connections to his father at all."

And why the need for a new proclamation of innocence?

Celestion takes the blame.

"In my recent book, I mentioned that Gregory Pelak was the nephew of Doctor Darius.  For some reason, that caused some parties to contact Ivan."

What did these parties want? It seems there's an urban legend which claims Darius left directions to a cache of advanced weaponry.  No doubt these parties would be interested in acquiring said weapons. 

"That's why I'm standing here today. I'm putting my face out there for everyone to see so that maybe everyone will finally get the message. Yes, my father was Doctor Darius. But I never had any contact with the man.  I don't know about any cyborgs, potions, or weapons of mass destruction. So just leave me alone.  Unless you want to buy groceries. This week we’re running a sale on local produce."

There's only one question left to ask. Obviously, when these parties contacted the grocery guy, the grocery guy contacted Celestion.  What happened next?

"Let's just say they were apprised as to the error of their ways."