Talk to us!

BookCloseOuts.com 

BuiltWithNOF

Menu Melts Shareholder Hearts

Gooey Makes Health A Good Thing

Shareholders had reasons to cheer as the Gooey Goodness fast food chain posted a sharp increase in revenue for the fiscal year ending. The nationwide chain, its fare a staple of teen diets for decades, had suffered through an alarming sales slump over the past few years.  Management blamed the losses on a growing trend towards more healthy diets.

Gooey Goodness has always offered meals rich in calories, with an emphasis on their particular kind of burgers, called "Melts".  The basic Melt has a patty of meat coated in a cheese flavored batter, deep-fried, then lightly grilled before being placed inside a bun. Their popularity led to variations such as the "MegaMelt", which saw the patty expanded to a quarter pound, and placed between slices of cheddar and Swiss cheese. 

Dessert has always been an essential part of the Gooey experience, particularly the various "Sundaze" concoctions which smothered ice cream under rivers of chocolate, butterscotch, and caramel syrups.

While the menu became an easy target for nutritionists recently, such wasn't always the case. During the early 1970's, California area bodybuilders claimed the calorie-rich Melts were an inexpensive way to provide the bulk needed for serious muscle-making. The restaurants became a popular hangout for the musclemen, which in turn attracted female admirers.  Building on the dubious connection between their food and over developed physiques, Gooey ran an ad campaign featuring Stan Kowalski, 1977 Mr. Galaxy, who claimed his massive biceps were built by MegaMelts.

Two years ago, the company was devastated by the release of the Oscar-winning documentary, "Melting Away". Film maker Gary Timleck recorded his body's reactions to a month of eating nothing but items from the Gooey menu.  The results were shocking, highlighted by the previously healthy Timleck suffering a heart attack midway through his final MegaMelt.  And it didn't help that Timleck filmed an interview with Stan Kowalski, who admitted his muscular development owed a far greater debt to steroids than hamburgers.

While the company realized the importance of adding healthier items to the menu, they were much slower off the mark than their fast food competition. This was because company CEO, Alfred Delvecchio Jr., was adamant that the company not stray from their initial premise.

In a 1999 interview, he said, "People come to Gooey Goodness expecting comfort food.  If the American public really had a craving for twigs and cardboard, my dad would never have made a living here.  We'll give them healthy food that they'll enjoy, or I'll fold up my tent and go home."

A few years later, the company rolled out their "MegaSalads".  The premise was basic. A bed of lettuce (iceberg and romaine) and selected vegetables covered in heated sauces such as Bacon and Cheese, Jalapeno and Cheddar, and the surprisingly popular Mashed Potatoes with Gravy. Intensive ad campaigns helped overcome the initial uncertainty customers felt over such unique food combinations.

Some nutritionists pointed out that these toppings alone contained higher levels of fat and sodium than the average MegaMelt, while others contended that the salad provided some healthy benefits.  Company officials claimed that the salads overcame initial customer resistance to become highly profitable within the first year. 

Company officials released the results at the opening celebration of their newest restaurant in Golden Valley, California. In an effort to mend fences, officials trotted out Gary Timleck, who was presented with a MegaSalad. 

Return to Articles Main Page

 

Unless otherwise stated, all content ©2006 Catfish Comics