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INFAMA: Ooh, a SERIOUS question. You know, if my lawyer was here, she'd say answering a question like that would be prejudicial. Innocent until proven guilty, and all that.
Hahaha! Did I call myself "innocent"? What a riot!
SL: I don't get it. You're in jail, and yet you're as high spirited as anyone I've ever met who was still sober. Aren't you worried about the consequences of what you've done? The prospect of prison doesn't worry you?
INFAMA: Only if I thought I was gong to be around here long enough to go to jail. But don't tell anyone, okay?
(talking to guards) Hey, you morons! You didn't hear anything, right?
Like it'd make a difference.
Hey, Ms. Bottled Blonde want a good quote for your story?
SL: You're going to tell me you've been intimate with Bugs Bunny?
INFAMA: Not bad, but this is better. You want to know why I do the things I do? Listen up.
I do them because I can. There's a gem on my neck that makes my wishes become real. If I want to stack cars like pancakes on the freeway during rush hour, I can. If I want to knock over a bank, take the money and use it as confetti, I can. If I want to fly through the air on a carpet I can do it just like that.
You ever fly through the air, and feel the air rushing through your hair? You ever feet the rush of seeing an office building come crashing down because YOU hammered it to bits?
Even for a second, did you ever feel like you had the power to do ANYTHING you wanted? Did you?
SL: I ... of course not.
INFAMA: You had to think about it? Look into my eyes. if this metal band wasn't around my throat, if I was able to use my gem ... you'd be at my mercy. I could do ANYTHING I wanted with you. You have any idea how it feels to have power like that?
SL: I suppose I can't even imagine. It must feel ... awe-inspiring.
INFAMA: HAHA! It feels like everyday is Christmas, and I can have all the presents I want!
And I'm beautiful, too. Why shouldn't I be a happy girl?
Tell you what ... when this unpleasantness is over, I'll come for you, and we can have some fun together. Would you like that?
Your name's Stacie, right?
What's wrong? Run out of questions? What's next on your list? Oooh, looks like you dropped your notebook ... not getting nervous, are you? I like that in a woman.
Hurry it up. I think the morons are getting restless. Too late! I guess the interview's over. Too bad ... there was so much we still had to talk about. I'm sure I had at least three more origin stones to tell you.
(talking to guards) Hey, careful where you put those hands, guy!
(This article first appeared in SINNAMON #2, 1995)
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